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Biomechanical ATV Boasts Extremely High Range


by Jason Lomberg, Technical Editor

Advanced technology vehicles have yet to gain a foothold in the mainstream auto industry. Hybrids boast a fuel economy upwards of 40 mpg, but are too pricey for your average consumer. Similarly, “clean diesel” sports high MPG ratings, but diesel is prohibitively expensive. The more exotic ATV’s (air-cars, biodiesel, solar) are aesthetically morose. Pure electric vehicles (PEVs) lack the necessary infrastructure to support them. Welcko’s Mogwai Electric Vehicle (or MEV) is the first ATV with potential mainstream viability.

A certain car.The MEV (nicknamed the “Gizmo”) uses the principle of biomechanical engineering to create a near-limitless power source. Using its primary means of propulsion, the MEV can go up to 1,000 miles on a single “charge.” The MEV is 100% emissions free, apart from sudden, random expulsions of nitrogen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, oxygen, and methane (the smell is worse than any environmental damage). To recharge the MEV, you merely provide it with protein, carbohydrates, and occasionally, sugar. Best of all, the included quick charge system (featuring a syringe and rubber tubing) can get the MEV up and running (literally) in less than five minutes.

Most vehicles come with an instruction manual to familiarize drivers with its operation. The MEV includes three specific rules. Like most electrical devices, the MEV’s innards are highly-susceptible to water damage. So you shouldn’t get the “engine” wet. Keep it out of bright light. Direct sunlight will destroy it. And under no circumstances should you ever charge, or “feed” it, after midnight. Once again, don’t get it wet, keep it out of bright light, and don’t feed it after midnight. As long as you follow these three simple rules, you should be fine.

Welcko President and CEO, Steven Knickenbocker, had this to say about the MEV-- “Welcko has always believed that the general public will believe any claim and buy any product as long as you give it a fancy title, dress it up nice, and imply that only the cool kids own one. We've continued that tradition with the Mogwai Electric Vehicle. I mean, anyone who doesn't like the MEV must be some kind of gremlin.”