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WWII vet screws with the TSA

Fri, 10/25/2013 - 4:49pm
Jason Lomberg, Technical Editor

Now here’s the feel-good story of the week.

If you haven’t met the TSA – meaning you somehow haven’t flown anywhere in the last 12 years – know that they’re the crotch-grabbing, nude-scanning, senior-citizen harassing government agency in charge of airport security. And they really hate shoes. But the mighty TSA has apparently met its match in an 87-year-old, half-deaf World War II vet.

The Orlando Sentinel has a story about a spry 87-year-old “dad-dude” (real name: Sam), sporting two hearing aids, white hair, and an anti-authoritarian mean streak. Lately, he’s taken up the fun – though somewhat dangerous – hobby of screwing with the Transportation Security Administration.

“While he may have lost most of his hearing,” writes Laurie Ritchie, the dad-dude’s daughter, “he has not lost his contrary propensity to question authority in a quiet way designed to make his target feel stupid. Well, at least if the target has any sense.” (Cue the TSA.)

The dad-dude’s favorite strategy is to juxtapose the TSA’s fanatical hatred of footwear (and logic) with the ubiquitous airport signs that say those over 75 needn’t take off their shoes for screening. Sam’s favorite pair of shoes have metal in them, which is enough to create a cosmic paradox for the TSA that could destroy the universe.

"Take off your shoes," Laurie would urge for the sake of the other victims, er, passengers in line.

Silently, he’d point to the sign.

This went on for a while till the dad-dude thought of a new trick.

Know that nudie-scanner that goes haywire if you have so much as a particle of lint in your pocket? The dad-dude would leave his wallet in his back pocket. Or his belt on. Which led to a Class A terrorist search in Pittsburgh.

“Ironically, however, the TSA was right in a way — my dad does know a little bit about planes being used as flying bombs,” wrote Laurie.

“He was aboard the U.S.S. Idaho battleship during a massive attack on Okinawa on April 11, 1945, when six Japanese kamikazes took aim and dived toward the decks.”

Personally, I would’ve given the dad-dude a standing ovation.

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