8 Scenes That Prove Hollywood Doesn't Get Technology
editors note: Some edits were made in this truncated version for clarity.
(Cracked Magazine) - Hilarious things happen when writers try to write characters who are smarter than themselves. For instance, I don't doubt that some research goes into writing the medical jargon on House, but we all know that at some point they fake it.
#8.NCIS -- Two People Sharing a Keyboard
Let's assume you know absolutely nothing about computers. Let's say you've never even touched one, but only know them based on what others have relayed to you second-hand. You would still find this scene impossibly stupid.
#7.Hackers -- Hacking is Kind of Like a Video Game
The 1995, Hackers starred a young Angelina Jolie in a period of her career when it was clearly between this movie and porn. Ironically, the porn parody version of Hackers probably handled the technical details of hacking with the exact same level of accuracy.
#6.Masterminds -- Hacking Actually is a Video Game.
But at least that movie only made their hacking "like" a video game. 1997's Masterminds boasted a scene in which the hacking actually was a video game, complete with a first person shooter setup and... a joystick.
#5.NCIS -- 16-Core with a Ten Meg Pipe.
Absolutely no one is worse with this subject than network cop shows.
#4.CSI -- GUI Interface Using Visual BS
Staying in the acronym-cop-show family, CSI writes a dialogue exchange using what sounds like a Random Computer Term Generator. A couple of cops stare at an online chat, when one of them realizes that "this is in real time." A third cop in the background announces, "I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic. See if I can track an IP address."
#3.Numb3rs -- IRC is Drug Dealing Boats in the Ocean
So at this point, it's almost a challenge to see how simple a piece of computer software has to be before they won't treat it like an arcane subject that only engineers understand. I fully expect to one day see a TV character strap on a full radiation suit and climb into a duct to "hashtag the Twitter.
#2.CSI -- Second Life Chase Scene
So the cops on CSI are tracking down a character in the online game Second Life that they believed was no longer active in the game. The cop starts asking questions -- but the guy doesn't want to answer them. So does the guy who doesn't want to be questioned just, you know, disconnect from the game? Does he shut down his computer? Does he put the cop on ignore or disable voice chat? Nope. He runs away. In the game.
#1.Life -- Gamers are Losers, Also We Don't Know How Games Work
In one episode to get to a file some cops have to play a game. But where will they find someone with that obscure, geek ability known as "playing video games"? I mean, this is back when games were purely the hobby of a select group of underground hackers living in dark basements (that is, 2007). Fortunately, they have a video game expert in-house. They ask another cop, "Do you think you can get to Level 10?" His response?
"Detective, I'm 30-years old, I live with my mother and I have a Captain Kirk costume in my closet."
That is what Hollywood writers think of us.
The ECN Editor-in-Chief
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